


constant as the northern star

by ohfiitz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1462645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfiitz/pseuds/ohfiitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can feel the gears changing, turning towards danger, shifting towards uncertainty, and he can’t do anything about it and it frustrates him.</p>
<p>Post- "Turn, Turn, Turn", Fitz and Simmons return to the lab.</p>
            </blockquote>





	constant as the northern star

They've done this before.

Scraping the lab clean, sorting through shards and splinters of leftover science, cramming things into cardboard boxes all of sizes too small. They have had their fair share of labs before joining Coulson’s team, and they've had to leave and pack up many times before. But this time, it’s different.

They go through the shambles in silence.

_“Help May patch the holes_ ”, that’s what Coulson said, and Fitz wonders if he could ever patch the holes he feels burning inside.

He heaves a deep sigh, and Simmons doesn't miss it. She knows exactly what’s going through his mind and the extra heaviness in his breath only confirms it. He shot a man, and she knows it’s breaking him apart.

After what seems like an eternity, it’s Fitz who breaks the silence.

“I didn’t want to do it, Jemma, I had no—“

“I know. “

Of course she knows. She always does. He doesn’t speak, and she feels uncomfortable, not having him speak over her sentences or complete her thoughts. Talking to a silent Fitz is something she isn’t used to, so she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Fitz. You did what you had to do. Not as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but as a friend. I know you would've done the same thing if it was— ”

“NO. DON’T, JEMMA. DON’T YOU EVEN DARE.” His voice is furious and desperate and terrified all at once.

He doesn’t want to think about it. Thinking about having shot a man was painful enough, but imagining _her_ in May’s place with a gun pointed at her, staring death in the face? Hell no. He pushes back the thought, tries to bury it behind but it only brings all his other fears and worries to light.

He can feel the gears changing, turning towards danger, shifting towards uncertainty, and he can’t do anything about it and it frustrates him because he’s a bloody _engineer,_ for god’s sakes. He was supposed to know how to make things right and fix them in their proper places and he can’t. He hates change and wishes everything was a control variable he could keep the same forever, but he can’t. He’s a worrier, that Fitz.

“Fitz, we’re going to be fine.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Yes, but we can try.”

She takes his hand, and for the first time since coming back from the Hub, he dares to look her in the eyes. It makes her smile. “Right?”

“Okay.” He doesn't feel okay. Everything feels all but okay, but her smile makes him believe that eventually, it will be.

She smiles again, wider this time. Truer. He holds on to it.

“Tea?”, she asks, and he says yes. To tea, and to everything else Jemma Simmons has to offer, because it’s all he needs and it’s all he wants. _Jemma_.

It’s moments like this that make Leopold Fitz grateful to be a scientist. Because science reminds him of everything that’s constant in this world, and science reminds him that gears may turn and things may change and government organizations may be blown to pieces in a single day, but Fitzsimmons will be _Fitzsimmons_ and frankly, it’s the only constant thing he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. All I know is that a crying Leopold Fitz breaks my heart and ugh he just loves her so much.


End file.
